You get to Define the Win

Hey there, Standing on the Ledge, how are y’all today?

Well, Friday is a wrap. It is now Saturday, March 21st, and I just finished my first 40-hour work week in quite a while.

And I am tired.

I am sore. I am worn out. But you know what? I am happy for that.

There is something to be said for being tired because you actually did something. Not tired from stress. Not tired from worry. Not tired from spinning your wheels and going nowhere. I mean tired because you showed up, put in the hours, did the work, and earned the rest.

And somewhere in all of that, I had a bit of an epiphany.

Who defines your happiness?

Who defines your worth?

Who defines whether you are successful or not?

At the end of the day, you do.

I define that for me. You define that for you.

And I think that is something a lot of us forget.

We spend so much time listening to other people, listening to motivational content, listening to society, listening to old wounds, listening to our own self-criticism, that after a while we start measuring ourselves by definitions that may not even be ours.

Then we wonder why we do not feel happy. We wonder why we do not feel successful. We wonder why we do not feel worthy.

But maybe the problem is not always that we are failing.

Maybe the problem is that we are using the wrong definition.

Reader’s Moment

Maybe you know exactly what I mean.

Maybe you had one of those weeks where all you did was keep going. You got up. You went to work. You paid what needed paying. You handled what needed handling. You kept the wheels on. You made it through.

And still there is that voice in your head saying it is not enough.

Not enough money.

Not enough progress.

Not enough success.

Not enough whatever.

But maybe making it through the week is enough for right now.

Maybe holding the line is enough for right now.

Maybe rebuilding your life does not always look impressive from the outside, but that does not mean it is not real.

And maybe you are doing better than you have been giving yourself credit for.

A sociological and psychological lens

A lot of how we define ourselves gets handed to us before we even realize it. Society teaches us what success is supposed to look like. Family teaches us. Work teaches us. Culture teaches us. Social media definitely teaches us, or at least tries to.

Then psychology comes in and shows us how those messages get internalized. They become self-talk. They become that running commentary in your head that tells you whether you are doing well or coming up short.

That is where a lot of people get stuck.

We compare our real lives to somebody else’s polished image. We compare our private struggles to other people’s public presentation. Then we decide that because we are tired, flawed, healing, rebuilding, or carrying some baggage, we must be behind.

But that is not necessarily truth. That is interpretation.

A person can be tired and still be doing well.

A person can have flaws and still be worthy.

A person can be rebuilding and still be successful.

A person can have deep-rooted inadequacies, struggles, even addictions, and still be a worthwhile human being.

Every single one of us has something imperfect in us. Every single one of us.

That does not cancel our worth.

From the ledge

So today, yeah, I am tired. I am sore. I am worn right down.

But I am also proud.

Because I know what this week took. And I know what it means that I made it through it.

Sometimes the win is not flashy. Sometimes the win is not a big announcement or some huge breakthrough.

Sometimes the win is simply this:

You showed up.

You did the work.

You made it through.

You are still standing.

And that counts.

So maybe the real question is not, “Am I enough?”

Maybe the real question is, “Whose definition am I using?”

Because if the definition you are using only teaches you to dismiss your own progress, then maybe it is time to build a better one.

That is all for the moment.

I hope this sparks something in you.

Godspeed.