The Waiting Game: Embracing Change with ‘Standing on the Ledge’

Rebuilding from the Rubble

Standing on the Ledge — a new day.

So, I signed the papers. Now I’m waiting for the other side to respond. That “waiting” space is its own weird territory — it’s not the old reality anymore, but it’s not the new one yet either.1

On a brighter note: my new book has been released. If you’re interested, look up Standing on the Ledge, Field Manual, Rebuilding from the Rubble, by Kevin McLaughlin on Amazon. There are two versions out there, so you’ll want to check whether you’re looking at the first edition or the second edition. They’re both the same price. The first edition is available for Kindle as well.

I put in a few more applications — one of them is getting back into customer support. We’ll see if that turns into a contact or not.

Where I’m at today

Mentally? I started out good. Now I’m nervous. Apprehensive. I can feel the “I just set something in motion” feeling humming under my skin — and that’s normal when the outcome isn’t in my hands yet.2

Work progress for today is basically that. Tomorrow I’ve got to contact the accountant and get all my paperwork in. One more step in shutting down the business — one more step in closing a chapter, whether my nervous system likes it or not.6

Right now, it feels like my brain is covered in spider webs. My mood is a bit despondent. Not dramatic. Just… heavy. Foggy. Like my thoughts have to wade through glue to reach the surface.3

The thing I’m trying to remember

I’m hoping at least more than one person buys my book. A lot of personal struggle and heartfelt work went into that. But here’s the truth I can stand on even when the numbers are unknown: I finished it. I shipped it. It exists in the world now.

And not unlike a lot of things I’ve done, I’ve done it — and not many people can say that. Sometimes the joy is simply seeing something through from one end to the other. That follow-through matters. It builds proof in my own head that I can act, persist, and complete, even when I’m nervous or tired.4

There’s also a basic human hunger underneath that sense of accomplishment — competence, autonomy, and connection. When one of those is shaky, the others wobble too. When I do something hard and real, it steadies the whole table, even if only a little.5

Right now I’m in that in-between zone: letting go of what was, not fully living what’s next yet. That’s not failure. That’s transition — the liminal stretch where identity re-forms, routines get rebuilt, and the new story starts to take shape one practical step at a time.7

Godspeed.

Footnotes

  1. William Bridges and Susan Bridges, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, 3rd ed. (Boston: Da Capo Press, 2009). ↩
  2. R. Nicholas Carleton, Donald Sharpe, and Gordon J. G. Asmundson, “Anxiety Sensitivity and Intolerance of Uncertainty: Requisites of the Fundamental Fears?” Behaviour Research and Therapy 45, no. 10 (2007): 2307–2316, doi:10.1016/j.brat.2007.04.006. ↩
  3. Mayo Clinic Health System, “Cognitive overload: Info paralysis,” March 18, 2022, accessed January 21, 2026. ↩
  4. Albert Bandura, “Self-Efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change,” Psychological Review 84, no. 2 (1977): 191–215, doi:10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191. ↩
  5. Richard M. Ryan and Edward L. Deci, “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being,” American Psychologist 55, no. 1 (2000): 68–78, doi:10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68. ↩
  6. Helen Rose Fuchs Ebaugh, Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1988). ↩
  7. Victor Turner, The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure (Chicago: Aldine Publishing, 1969). ↩

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Published by Lugh Sulian

Lugh Sulian Standing on the Ledge · Rebuilding from the Rubble Lugh Sulian is a working name for a working moment. This profile exists to hold Standing on the Ledge: Rebuilding from the Rubble—an ongoing, real-time record of what happens after collapse, when old rules stop functioning and new ones haven’t yet earned trust. This is not myth reenactment. Not spiritual bypass. Not curated healing. It’s a field journal from the threshold. The name Lugh points toward skill, clarity, and responsibility carried with awareness. Sulian gestures toward sight—what can be seen when illusion drops away and pretending becomes too expensive. Together, they frame the posture of this work: to look clearly, act deliberately, and refuse to rebuild what already failed. Through short-form video, spoken reflection, and long-form writing, this project explores: Collapse without spectacle Responsibility without authority Burnout as a systems problem, not a personal flaw Pagan cycles as lived practice, not aesthetic Small fires instead of grand rebuilds This space is intentionally unfinished. It documents: Standing still without freezing Moving forward without rushing Learning from rubble instead of hiding it Unplugged-Pagan.com serves as the grounding—seasonal awareness, ritual stripped of performance, and meaning built from experience rather than doctrine. Standing on the Ledge is one expression of that grounding, focused on the human cost of broken systems and the slow work of rebuilding integrity. This is not a teaching platform. It’s a shared watchpost. If you’re here, you’re likely between versions of yourself—tired, alert, uncertain, and still standing. You don’t need answers yet. You need honesty, boundaries, and permission to move at the speed of truth. No conclusions offered. No certainty promised. Still on the ledge. Still watching. Still working the rubble. Godspeed. Optional Short Versions (for profile headers or bios) Short bio (Facebook / site header): Threshold work. Pagan-rooted, process-driven. Documenting collapse, clarity, and the refusal to rebuild what failed.

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