From collapse to traction—field notes for the climb back.
The author reflects on a less philosophical mindset and a sense of easing stress. While waiting on job responses and feeling unproductive, they contemplate the cycles in their life, including career shifts and personal losses. They express unresolved grief regarding relationships with their children, who are affected by separation.
Personal Log — 3:30 AM (I’ll post this later) It’s 3:30 in the morning as I start dictating this. I’m not posting it now—partly because I don’t want to be spammy, and partly because my brain is still running too hot to trust what comes out in real time. I can’t sleep. I’m yawning as … Continue reading Lessons from a Sleepless Night: Contracts and Life Friction
One month after a significant work contract ended, the author reflects on personal growth amidst uncertainty. They emphasize learning from experiences, setting clear boundaries, and staying proactive in rebuilding their life. By focusing on writing and pursuing further education, they aim to navigate challenges while balancing progress with self-care.
The author reflects on their dual identity as Kevin McLaughlin, the legal name, and Lugh Sulian, the working name, which symbolizes a tool for truth. They share their journey from being unnoticed in the background to confronting systemic issues in business, ultimately documenting their experience of rebuilding after a collapse, aiming to support others facing similar struggles.
"Standing on the Ledge" is a reflective project documenting the quiet collapse of life and the ongoing process of rebuilding. It captures the emotional and practical challenges faced while navigating uncertainty and redefining identity. The site's purpose is to share authentic experiences and insights, not to seek pity or impress others, emphasizing persistence through small steps.
Chapter 2 of "Standing on the Ledge" delves into the complexities of grief, highlighting the tendency to analyze pain as a means of avoidance. The author discusses how societal expectations encourage a composed facade, using analytical thinking as a defense mechanism. True healing requires confronting painful emotions rather than evading them through endless rumination.
Bargaining during grief involves rewriting the past to mitigate pain, often manifesting as “if only” thoughts that hinder healing. This counterfactual thinking can lead to rumination rather than learning. A healthier approach involves asking better questions that seek to understand patterns and conditions, focusing on actionable next steps rather than self-blame.
The author reflects on a day focused not on achievement but on simply remaining present and stable amidst fatigue and stress. They emphasize the importance of managing basic needs and engaging in small actions to avoid feelings of shame and collapse, drawing on psychological concepts like Behavioral Activation and Maslow's hierarchy.
The author reflects on the challenges of being perceived as overqualified when seeking job opportunities. They explore the stigma attached to this label, noting that employers often view it as a risk. Ultimately, the piece emphasizes the desire for a simpler life and the necessity to redefine personal goals and boundaries in the workplace.
The writing reflects on the impact of work overload on personal connections, emphasizing the loss of reciprocity in friendships. The author explores feelings of social rejection, the cultural shift towards isolation, and the inherent responsibility in maintaining relationships. Ultimately, it advocates accepting the reality of expired connections without bitterness.
Standing on the Ledge 