Navigating Personal Darkness: A Call for Connection

personal log

Standing on the ledge, personal log.

I’m sorry for posting so much today. My mood is really dark, and I don’t know what the future holds. My support system is virtually non-existent.

Yeah, I’m getting things done, but… Is it enough?

The world scene isn’t helping

The world scene right now isn’t happening, isn’t helping, I mean. What is happening in the United States is absolutely deplorable. It scares me. It should scare you, too.

What happens if… I don’t know, I sat down and I watched George Orwell’s 1984 today. I think that was a mistake for me to do that right now. Considering what I’m going through personally, the world stage.

Do these words land anywhere?

You tell me, is there one person out there who can actually take the time to respond to anything I’ve written? Does it mean anything to you? Does it help you?

Then again, I also have to realize, you know, with what’s going on in the world, are you wrapped up in that?

Soundtrack in the background

  • The Doors, “The End” (Elektra, 1967).1
  • Barry McGuire, “Eve of Destruction” (Dunhill, 1965).2
  • Buffalo Springfield, “For What It’s Worth” (Atco, 1966).3

A bit of framework (so I don’t drown in this)

I’m not saying this to get academic about it. I’m saying it because I need a handrail.

Durkheim had a word for the feeling when the ground rules stop holding and the future stops looking predictable: anomie. When I’m watching the world stage while my own foundation is shaking, it can feel like there’s no “normal” to grab onto.4

Mills would call part of this the collision of “private trouble” and “public issue.” I’m sitting in my own mess, and the headlines keep reminding me the bigger machine is also grinding. It’s not weakness that this hits harder. It’s context.5

Psychology-wise: when support is thin, my brain doesn’t go calm and philosophical. It goes into threat-scanning mode. It wants certainty. It wants a plan. And when it can’t find one, it grabs the darkest available storyline and plays it on repeat.6

And the comment thing? That’s not “needy.” Humans are wired for belonging. When the support system is virtually non-existent, even one real response can feel like a rope thrown over the ledge.7

So here’s where I’m landing tonight: I’m still here. I’m still writing. I’m still getting things done. And I’m asking—plainly—for a sign of life back from the world.

Please… If you have time, if you’re reading this, drop a comment.

Godspeed.

If you’re reading this and you’re in a dark place too: if you’re feeling like you might hurt yourself, or you’re not sure you’ll stay safe, you can call or text

9-8-8 in Canada for the Suicide Crisis Helpline, 24/7.

In the U.S., the 988 Lifeline is also available by call/text/chat.

  1. The Doors, “The End,” on The Doors (Los Angeles: Elektra Records, 1967), song. ↩
  2. Barry McGuire, “Eve of Destruction” (Los Angeles: Dunhill Records, 1965), song. ↩
  3. Buffalo Springfield, “For What It’s Worth” (New York: Atco Records, 1966), song. ↩
  4. Émile Durkheim, Suicide: A Study in Sociology, trans. John A. Spaulding and George Simpson (New York: Free Press, 1951). ↩
  5. C. Wright Mills, The Sociological Imagination (New York: Oxford University Press, 1959). ↩
  6. Richard S. Lazarus and Susan Folkman, Stress, Appraisal, and Coping (New York: Springer, 1984). ↩
  7. Roy F. Baumeister and Mark R. Leary, “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation,” Psychological Bulletin 117, no. 3 (1995): 497–529. ↩

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Published by Lugh Sulian

Lugh Sulian Standing on the Ledge · Rebuilding from the Rubble Lugh Sulian is a working name for a working moment. This profile exists to hold Standing on the Ledge: Rebuilding from the Rubble—an ongoing, real-time record of what happens after collapse, when old rules stop functioning and new ones haven’t yet earned trust. This is not myth reenactment. Not spiritual bypass. Not curated healing. It’s a field journal from the threshold. The name Lugh points toward skill, clarity, and responsibility carried with awareness. Sulian gestures toward sight—what can be seen when illusion drops away and pretending becomes too expensive. Together, they frame the posture of this work: to look clearly, act deliberately, and refuse to rebuild what already failed. Through short-form video, spoken reflection, and long-form writing, this project explores: Collapse without spectacle Responsibility without authority Burnout as a systems problem, not a personal flaw Pagan cycles as lived practice, not aesthetic Small fires instead of grand rebuilds This space is intentionally unfinished. It documents: Standing still without freezing Moving forward without rushing Learning from rubble instead of hiding it Unplugged-Pagan.com serves as the grounding—seasonal awareness, ritual stripped of performance, and meaning built from experience rather than doctrine. Standing on the Ledge is one expression of that grounding, focused on the human cost of broken systems and the slow work of rebuilding integrity. This is not a teaching platform. It’s a shared watchpost. If you’re here, you’re likely between versions of yourself—tired, alert, uncertain, and still standing. You don’t need answers yet. You need honesty, boundaries, and permission to move at the speed of truth. No conclusions offered. No certainty promised. Still on the ledge. Still watching. Still working the rubble. Godspeed. Optional Short Versions (for profile headers or bios) Short bio (Facebook / site header): Threshold work. Pagan-rooted, process-driven. Documenting collapse, clarity, and the refusal to rebuild what failed.

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